The end before the new beginning

Every so often there is a point where you start over. A place where you begin again. It is never like the first time. Some things you can never recreate. A new look or a new idea can be a good thing. It is a chance to reconnet and grow. This is where I start again. In this place in time. Directions will change and ideas will shift. The things you know by looking back no longer exist as they once did. The reflections of things that came before may have no light on the things ahead.

As what I had before I let slip away. Forgotten in time and left as it was. While every new start is a chance to do better, not every start can go without end. With this I end what was and I begin what is new. A new path to a new light. A new direction with what I have.

Reflections

When you think of logical thinkers, very few names ever come to mind. That is unless you know Kevin. He has a logical approach to everything even when there is not supposed to be a logical approach. This is most apparent when you see him interact with computers or related technology.


Many times you may see him perform very random or unusual actions only to later find out it was very calculated and very precise. Everything from driving, to monopoly, to interacting with his kids. You never know what to expect and that is exactly what he is counting on.

Perfect Light

There is such a thing as perfect light. It raises all kinds of emotions in those that experience it. Its perfection can last forever. It can be heart warming or heart breaking. It can be its own stunning glory. A moment in time to be saved and preserved. Its an etching of light captured to be shared.

The power of a photograph.

KTT:Kevmar's Tortage Toolkit Branding

I just released a mod I wrote for the Age of Conan game. I wanted to give it a name to set it appart and to lable it as mine. I already had Tortage.com waiting for the right project. So I wanted to use that site this time. I ended up with Kevmar's Tortage Tookit: Kill on sight list and combat stats / damage meter.

Looking back I can see that I over branded it. Adding my name and my website name into the title only made it hard for people to discover it. Once you know what it is, it is very easy to find it. But the initial part of the name (the part people see the most) gave no indication what the mod did. So telling people what the name is would only prompt them to ask what it does.

The title is shifting as I see the problems that I have already caused. KTT is the short abreviation I started with this week. KTT: KoS list and Combat Stats.

I should call it a damage meter, but that causes other issues. Alot more people would be able to find it. But the AoC community would bash it more. Alot of people in that community despise any influence that World of Warcraft is having on AoC. And this mod looks like it was something directly from WoW.

This is trial and error. It was a chance to lean a new lesson. I just went overboard with the branding. I think KTT will serve me well. You can already search for KTT AoC and its the top result. That is acceptable for this type of mod to have the game name also in the query.

If you ended up here looking for the mod, you can find it at my other site. KTT:Kevmar's Tortage Toolkit; Kill on sight list and combat stats / damage meter.

Starting over means giving up alot

Sometimes a simple task in code can easily grow to several lines. If it is someone else's code, its common to want to recode it. You know things they don't know. You see a better way to reduce code. You forget about the things they know that you don't know. You forget about the time already invested in testing and troubleshooting the problem.

If you need a script to map a drive and rename it, how long would it take to write it? How long would it take to find the same code that has already seen production? I use that example because the task is simple. You could write that script in as little as 4 lines of code.

I did write that script. It started out at 4 lines of code. Now it sits at over 24. Those extra +20 lines came from the maintenance of the script. That overhead makes it more reusable, simple to use, and has solved the bugs that were only uncovered in production. Now that I write that, I'm not sure 20 lines is enough to handle all that.

But my point is the next guy will have this great desire to recode my script because it can be done in 4 lines of code. Starting fresh means that sometimes you give up all the research and testing that came before. Willing to repeat the same bugs that have already been solved. Willing to resolve all the same problems that have already been solved.

I should have found a script online, but I wanted to do it myself. Some lessons are worth learning yourself.

Walking the line

I close my eyes and I see a man walking a line. One step at a time over and over. Never changes direction. He has gone to far to turn back now. No distractions on either side. Nothing exists outside the line. The line is so defined that its a black line on white paper. He never stops, he can't stop, he does not see the end.

He knows that its a line. He knows that every line has a beginning and an end. Never questioning the details he knows. No reason to question the facts. Limited only by his own mind, he never discovers that the line has no end.

That the line he does see is only a piece of a much larger circle. He will forever be a prisoner of his own mind. Unable to escape the reality that only exists in his head.

I open my eyes and think to my self. Is this how I see the world.

Every problem is a nail

The full quote is "If your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail" and the original quote is "He that is good with a hammer tends to think everything is a nail." A quick search lead me to a entry on www.brainyquote.com that indicates Abraham Maslow is the author of that line.

This is why you expand your set of tools. Every new tool expands your skills and gives you new solutions to new problems. Sometimes a hammer is the exact tool you need. The better you know your tools, the more confident you will be in knowing that the hammer is or is not the solution.

I write code and I see how this impacts me all the time. I find it important to learn new tools. I also find it hard at times not to over use new tools. New tools are like a new hammer, you look for a reason to use it.

In the end, I know I should be bound by the tools I have. In some ways, I am. In other ways, I know the tool I need does exist. Even if I dont have it already, I know its available to use.

Without direction

Have you ever felt lost without direction? Not knowing where you are, who you are, or what to do? One day passes on to the next. the day shifts to night, time and time again. Yet nothing changes. Things stand still yet again as they have for days.

But what must change to give you direction? If nothing changes where can you get direction? If you are lost waiting for direction then you are not changing anything. Without change, direction will never come. You will be lost forever in and endless loop of nothing changing.

Direction is something you decide for your self. Waiting for direction is waiting for change. Without the first step on your own, you have neither direction or change. You will not know where you are, who you are, or what to do. You will feel lost without direction.

Lost but not forgotten

Why do pages get lost and grow old? Can a page once old become a new and an inviting page again? Will those that maintain it fail to do so? Is it doomed to once again grow old and dormant as it becomes lost and only seen by wondering eyes that themselves are lost looking for that something special in a place that is long forgotten?

Only time will tell us the truth and show us how long it can last even though we know that one day will come and all will be lost and forgotten and eventualy dissapear. It will first become hidden among so many other pages that time has lost and eventualy cease to exist as even the internet is finite and will clear its self of the clutter from time to time.

Evey once in a while

Evey once in a while one must step out and try something new. Ideas are nothing if you do not act on them. An idea that sits is an opprotunity for someone else. I have started trends and watch other implement ideas I had. Several ideas become fully working concepts and then fade away. Once I prove that it can be done, my mind looks to the next idea.

How do you decide who you are online?

My favorite username was created by someone else. So are my passwords but that is different story. I was an intern at a software company and KevMar was the username they gave me. If you look at my name, you can easily see how they came up with it.

What I like the most about it is getting to use it. When I google for KevMar, I see myself on the main results page 3 times. If you were looking for me, then you are at the right place. If you are trying to figure out who I am, then you will have to dig a little deeper.

Chances are you either already know who I am or saw some comment I made that linked back here. Either way, you are welcome here any time.

The time always comes

Gently waiting, softly watching, as the time draws near. It could be now, all I have to do is take that step. Yet, I stand still. It makes little difference if I go now or not. One more moment, one more thought. I know I will go. It is only a matter of time. The time always comes.

Its time to go to bed again. I know it is time, but I have a hard time giving in some nights. I usually have to look at one more website, or work/play 10 more minutes. Some times I find myself looking at a blank page searching for the words to write. Tonight is one such night. I have little to write about, but If I have nothing to write then I should just go to bed.

The eyes of strangers

One more post that will be left unseen. Hidden amongst the eyes of strangers. Strangers that skim the headings and thirst for content, but find little as their hunger grows. One thoughtless post no different from any other. One more thought down on paper for any stranger not to see. One more idea laid to rest.

The beginning

The start of one's blog. What words should one choose to mark the beginning of one's record on life. Would one think longer or harder if it were to be in stone. Here are my thoughts and feelings to be hidden away amongst the eyes of strangers.

First Post

First post.
simple, yet to the point.

If it was not the first post, it would be irevelent and of topic. but the bigger question is why make the first post?

It is a post someone has to make. Without a first post, who would make the second post?